My True Essence Page 5

  “So does that mean you’ll contact some of your big wig friends for me? Oh that would be so tight. I mean, that would be a huge help. Then I can focus on the fashion lines I found that are way more in line with today’s fashions.”Rebecca smiled.

  “Whatever. Just be sure you have that wine close by. You know how I am, Becca. I don’t play stupid or take shorts from anyone…especially phony church folks. Hold your other ear and sit still.” Dani picked the irons off of the stove.

  Chapter Six

  “I’m serious Mom. I want to make up for being so hard on you before. I saved up and asked Charles Jr. to chip in so we can go to the spa together. It’s my treat, but you have to let me blindfold you. I want it to be a surprise. When we get to the mall you have to let me lead you into the spa.” Dominique smiled at her mother from the passenger seat.

  “Blindfold me in public? That is just silly, Nique. Why can’t I just walk in since I know what the surprise is?” Jenessa backed into a space shaded on part of the backseat and driver seat.

  “Do you always have to be in control and have the last say? Don’t you trust me and if not what does that say about your mothering skills. I haven’t given you any reason not to trust me, Mom.”Dominique crossed her arms. The blindfold lay in her lap.

  “Of course I trust you. Don’t take that tone with me, fine. I’ll let you blindfold me. I appreciate your understanding how much stress I’ve been under with work. I hate when we fight, Nique. Especially about things you shouldn’t allow to occupy your mental space. You should be enjoying your last few months of freedom. Cause once you graduate high school, it is a whole new ball game.” Jenessa smiled as she took the keys from the ignition and dropped them into her purse. She turned around towards the driver side window. “Hurry up and do it before my good sense returns.”

  Dominique released a squeal and gave her a quick awkward hug from behind. Jenessa felt the soft fabric cover her eyes and her daughter pick up her purse from her lap. The passenger door opened and closed. She heard her door open and felt Dominique take her hand and guide her out of the car.

  “I haven’t felt this helpless since your father had to help me get in and out of the car the last month I was pregnant with your brother. This better be a great spa, Dominique. Cause I can walk into Dani’s shop with my eyes closed now I’ve gone so many times since the first time. Sure they were all hair appointments but still. I know they have a great spa.” Jenessa gripped her daughters hand like her life depended on it.

  “Trust me, mom, this place is going to change your life.” Dominique squeezed her mother’s hand. “Wait, let me open the door. We are almost there.”

  “How is that possible? We haven’t even gone into the mall yet.” Jenessa said.

  “They have a separate entrance, for people who don’t wanna go through the mall. Okay, step up. Now just a few more steps and then you can sign in.”Dominique pulled her mother’s hand to indicate when to step up.

  “Oh, that makes sense. I love the way it smells in here and the little water brook is very relaxing. I feel better already.” Jenessa laughed. “At this rate you can sign me in too…I wanna enjoy this moment.”

  “Okay, mom. Sit down right here and I’ll be right back.” Dominique guided her mother into a seat on a wall.

  Jenessa rested her head back and sighed. It appeared they were getting back on track to their normal relationship.

  “Alright, you’re all signed in. They’ll call your name when it’s time for you to go back. I just have to fill out some forms for you, standard stuff you know. I wasn’t gone too long was I?” Dominique patted Jenessa on the leg.

  “I guess not. I may have dosed off. It’s so peaceful in here and with the blindfold you could’ve been gone five seconds or five minutes I don’t know. Can I take the blindfold off now?” Jenessa touched the fabric over her left eye with her left hand.

  “Sure I think they are coming to get you anyway.” Dominique tapped her mother’s shoulder.

  Jenessa turned her body so Dominique could remove the blindfold. When she did she saw beautiful artwork on the wall and elegant flowers on the table next to her. As she turned to thank Dominique, her mouth fell open as she saw a poster. The poster had a woman smiling as she crossed the finish line in what appeared to be a fundraising walk for breast cancer. Jenessa turned abruptly in her seat and looked at her daughter. Her finger flew up and pointed at her eldest child.

  “I think the nurse is coming to take you to the back. Here is your purse. I’ll be here when you come out. I apologize for lying Mom, but I had to get you here. I love you too much to lose you to a river in Africa.” Dominique handed her mother her purse.

  “Ms. Armstrong, Dr. Thompson is ready to see you now.” A young lady in pink bunny scrubs smiled and held a chart in front of Jenessa.

  “I am furious with you right now, Dominique. What in the world are you talking about? You know it is way too much going on at work and with you kids right now for me to jet off to Africa. I did not raise you to behave this way. You wait until we leave here.” Jenessa smiled at the young lady waiting to take her to the back office.

  “I know you can’t afford another vacation. You already spent enough time in de-nial. Get it ma? Like the Nile in Africa? I know I’m in trouble but I’m just glad you’ll be here to punish me.” Dominique smiled at her mother and wiggled her fingers at her. “See you in a little bit.”

  An hour later Jenessa walked out and sat next to Dominique. She had fallen asleep trying to read a magazine. Dominique sat up when Jenessa cleared her throat.

  “What did the doctor say?” Dominique said.

  “They did some tests here and it looks like they caught it pretty early. Because of our history they were prepared to do a biopsy and I’ll have the official results when everything gets back from the lab, but they do believe I’m in the early stages of breast cancer.” Jenessa tried to choke back the tears but collapsed into herself, crying.

  Dominique gathered her mother into her arms and rocked back and forth. “Oh, mom I’m so sorry. It doesn’t matter to me how long I’m on punishment because I lied to you but I had to know. You are the one who said early detection is best. When will you get the results?”

  “It could be as early as next week. Depends on the workload at the lab, I don’t really remember everything he said. I checked out after he said Dr. Justin was smart for referring me. The tumors on the x-ray look to be cancerous.” Jenessa stood up and reached at the air towards Dominique. “I’m glad you have your license cause, you’re driving home.”

  Dominique accepted the keys from Jenessa without the usual jolly dance. Jenessa had a feeling that what was usual for their life, had come to an end.

  Chapter Seven

  “So I’ve contacted several potential corporate sponsors and I’m waiting on news back from them. In addition to that I’ve received confirmation from several amazing fashion lines that will be providing clothing for the show. I also have Danielle Wardeen who will be coming on board to assist with the show as my right hand. She is the owner of Dani’s Diva Den, and her input will be priceless.” Rebecca placed the papers she held at an angle above the table flat as Vichonda cleared her throat.

  “Are you saying I won’t be co- chair for this event? It’s not like you have done this before.” Vichonda rolled her eyes and crossed her arms in front of her. “I know that shop but I don’t remember ever seeing her at church.”

  Sister Greene clasped her hands together in front of her and sighed.

  “Vichonda, I believe you were sharing that you recently took a new position and would not be available to help as you have in the past years. Out of respect for your new responsibilities, I asked Dani to assist us. I didn’t see any information in the paperwork stating that everyone had to be a member. I thought the consensus was that we needed to work more with the marketplace.” Rebecca tilted her head to the side and looked at Sister Greene.

  “You are correct, Rebecca. We are looking for
ward to working with Dani. Are there any other updates? I have been asking around for more volunteers. It may just be the season we’re in but all of the people who have been dedicated supporters in the past are saying they’re too busy now.” Sister Greene smiled with a slight shrug of her shoulders.

  “God conquered an entire country with only 300. If it’s only me, Dani, and a few others, He can work through a few, and still deliver a marvelous event. Nothing is impossible, right?” Rebecca chuckled as Jenessa waved at her through the glass in the door. “My best announcement to date is that we have a primary corporate sponsor already signed on.”

  Vichonda rolled her eyes again when Sister Greene turned her head towards the door. Jenessa walked in smiling.

  “This is Jenessa Armstrong. She is a member…and a vice president at FA Square. She has offered her time, influence, connections and will act as the liaison for the event.” Rebecca gave Jenessa a quick hug.

  “Thank you for coming tonight and thank you for your company’s support.” Sister Greene walked around the table and hugged Jenessa as well. “God is so good.”

  “Yes, he is.” Jenessa returned with a tight smile.

  “Welcome, Ms. Armstrong.” Vichonda gave her a genuine hug. “We’re glad to have you here as part of this event. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to assist you.”

  Rebecca’s eyes stretched to the size of saucers for a moment before they retracted to their normal size. Instead of allowing the murderous thoughts to continue occupying her mind, she lifted a quick prayer for compassion, and God’s help with how she saw Vichonda.

  “It has been a great pleasure working on our firm’s advertising campaign with Rebecca and Colby. Breast cancer is an important cause to me so I was more than happy to come on board and bring the support of FA Square.” Jenessa smiled.

  “Well, great. Let’s move forward and wrap up this meeting. Dani will be joining us next time.” Rebecca smiled at Jenessa and thanked God for helping her not roll her eyes and stick her tongue out at Vichonda. The event was still several months away and though she had made a brave declaration regarding God’s ability to work with a few, she was still disappointed and concerned about the lack of manpower pushing the event forward. God could do anything. It was her own shortcomings Rebecca worried about.

  ***

  Dani looked at the pamphlets in her hand from the naturopath she visited. Alkaline living looked like an extreme way of life. The people on the cover, the specialists and everyone in her office, looked so young and healthy. Either they were finding a way to make it work, or they had plastic surgeons on speed dial. How could she totally remove all of the free radicals around her? She never heard of anyone beating her kind of cancer with no intervention from the medical advances made against breast cancer. The breath she didn’t know she’d been holding, she released. It seemed as if ever since her diagnosis, her spirit felt crushed. Several times a day she found herself praying. Almost every time she had to remind herself she was not being punished for not going to church. Plenty of God fearing, Bible toting, beat the ushers to open the door saints, were diagnosed with cancer. Her diagnosis was a part of her life. It didn’t have to be the end of it.

  The next pamphlet she pulled out was all about some New Age philosophy, supplement and nutrition based path to healing cancer. After the third reference to her past life, karma, a healing path and spiritual detoxification she shook her head and balled that pamphlet up. Not going to church because she couldn’t stand fake people was one thing, but switching teams was another one. She took God’s lead and respected everyone’s right to choose, but was not about to move forward in a way that contradicted the path she knew was hers. Maybe she should go to church for reinforcements. No better time to get in God’s house than when you’re sick or in trouble.

  “This seat taken?” a voice said above her head as she dug in her bag for her book. The book was written by a Christian doctor she saw on the international church channel and it was all about curing cancer naturally.

  “Let me move my junk. I apolo...Jenessa?” Dani shook her head and rubbed her eyes.

  “Dani?” Jenessa sat down next to her bag. “What are you doing here? Working on the show for Becca?”

  “I wish. I am here to see if I’m going to die from cancer or from cancer treatment.” Dani grunted a chuckle.

  “Girl, don’t be silly. You know most cancer patients survive now. Soon it may be that all breast cancer diagnoses end in life.” Jenessa smiled.

  “I have triple negative inflammatory breast disease so the survival rate is less than fifty percent, Jenessa. I’m just looking at the facts.” Dani wiped a tear from her cheek.

  “Sometimes you have to look past the facts and find the truth, Dani. You can beat this because you have a relationship with a God that has victory in all things.” Jenessa stood up and sat down in the chair next to Dani. “How about if we both like this guy, we do our treatment together. We can pray for each other, buy wigs together and get treated at yours or another spa when we need it. If anyone should be scared, I should, but I refuse to give in. I’m going to fight this to the end and the end I see is for this cancer. Not the end of my life…you with me?”

  Dani nodded as tears rolled down her cheeks. God answered the prayer she’d been too scared to pray. She didn’t know how she would make it through this cancer alone.

  “Now you wait for me after you meet with the doctor and tell me what you think. If we both are cool with their approach, let’s do this together. My Bible says a three cord rope is not easily broken. You, me, and the Holy Spirit makes three.” Jenessa gave Danielle a one armed hug.

  “Okay. I can get with that.” Danielle smiled and for the first time since she was diagnosed she felt her signature nose crinkle and dimple.

  “Danielle Wardeen”. The voice crackled over the small speaker system.

  Dani stood up, gathered her things and looked at Jenessa.

  Jenessa gave her a thumb up.

  Dani looked up as she walked through the doors.

  God, I don’t know how this is all going to play out. All I know is I trust you. Help me trust you more in this. In Jesus name, amen.

  As the door leading into the waiting room closed behind her, Dani felt like a ton of bricks fell off her shoulders.

  ***

  Jenessa wondered where the courage and faith she’d displayed before Dani escaped to as she waited to discuss the lab results with the doctor. Her breasts were usually the last thing on her mind, except to wonder if she should have them done. It seemed like a vain thought at the time, the irony of needing reconstructive surgery after all of the treatments and implants she would receive ,was not lost on her. She prayed her prognosis was not the same as Dani’s. Since they didn’t have any details at the other office, here she sat in the best breast cancer treatment center in Houston. She hoped this would be over soon.

  The doctor walked in and sat down in the chair adjacent to her. The smile that should have reassured her only made her squirm. Something in her spirit told her to brace herself.

  Peace Lord, give me peace.

  “Ms. Armstrong, we have your tests results. The good news is that we did catch the cancer in the earliest stages and should be able to get you started with treatment soon. The bad news is that we don’t have much time because you do have triple negative breast cancer which is a more resistant and aggressive form of breast cancer. ..”

  Jenessa saw his lips moving but the words sounded like cotton in her ears. Did my mother and aunt have triple negative breast cancer? It couldn’t have been. They probably didn’t even know the difference back then. What would she tell Dominique and Charles?

  Oh God, what am I going to do?

  “Do you have any questions?”

  “Huh…oh no. I apologize I missed a lot of that could you repeat that? Never mind. When can I start treatment and get this over with?”

  “See the treatment coordinator in the lobby. Don’t worry
, Ms. Armstrong. You’re in good hands. We are recognized as the best cancer treatment in the area. We have the lowest mortality rate for this part of the country.”

  Jenessa’s shoulders sagged under the weight of his statement. Early detection or not…there was a chance she could die. Her eyes filled with tears as the heaviness of the diagnosis hit her.

  God, help me!

  Chapter Eight

  Colby blew out the candles on the dressers, wall ornament, sink and around the tub. He trashed the roses in the kitchen. He threw the candy into his briefcase and decided to give it to the administrative team as a thank you for working so hard on the FA Square account. When the rose petals were all cleaned up and everything in their room looked normal, he snatched his bathrobe from the hook on the door. The cold water in the shower did nothing to cool his temper. He needed guidance because the honeymoon phase for his marriage seemed to end before it really began. He didn’t know what to do about it. His wife felt like she was just within reach but miles away at the same time. The advice she received from her mother to stop neglecting him surprised him.

  Colby knew Rebecca was feeling alone and vulnerable with her mother gone to be with her aunt in the Dominican Republic. How could he comfort her if she refused to let him get close enough to touch her where it mattered? He was tired of being distracted from their problems with sex. What could he do to convince Rebecca to let him make love to her heart? His thoughts were interrupted as their bedroom door opened. He watched from the side of the tub as Rebecca tiptoed into their dark room. He placed the lotion back under the sink and snatched the French doors connecting the bedroom to the master bathroom open.

  “Where have you been?” Colby crossed his arms and blocked the doorway.

  “At church. I told you we had a meeting tonight. Vichonda called an emergency meeting for nothing and then she didn’t even show up. I could kill her.” Rebecca placed her hand on his shoulder and reached down to remove her shoe.

  Colby shrugged her hand off of his shoulder. He flicked the light switch on and walked over to the dresser pulling out some shorts and a tank top to sleep in.